We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Not My Usual Self

by Cyan&Magenta

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
2x2 04:04
they say that youre the product of your five closest friends but my life is like a jackson pollock painting and im changing every weekend and call it fate or every decision led us down a different path but youre sitting next to me so tell your boyfriends to do the math but you can ride and show up with me instead of just run into each other at parties and whether her heart misleads her or im all wrong for her if she likes me im not complaining cause thats what fake friends are for and im sorry if i seem spaced out i was just doing some math in my head and my headaches are just getting worse my brain is tired my bodies dead cause brothers always come first we swore wed say unconditionally so once so called brothers hang you out to dry its two times too many so she can stay and hang out with me in addition to blowing you off at parties and whether her heart misleads her or im all wrong for her if she likes me im not complaining cause thats what fake friends are for
2.
Over This 04:30
we would go nowhere I should've known I got your number but then lost my phone I was your prom date I was your friend just thought we could be more but that didn't happen you must want me to be more because nothing I do is right you couldn't care less but you possess my entire life yeah so much for golden it's obvious you could probably do better I'm heels over head and just a thread on your sweater and she said you were a dead end I didn't care anymore me and my best friends got down on the dance floor and then I was alright just a selfish prick making the most of the night so bad I woke up sick don't talk to me don't look at me I'm never gonna be what you want I won't talk to you I won't think of you you were never gonna be the one I don't care anymore (you don't love me you never did) I'm over this
3.
Mesa 05:02
I think I need to get away just drive all night and head due north towards Mesa because I can't go to Mexico I'm low on gas and I don't have a visa or I guess I could just stay at home and never go outside for no good reason well that's a double negative but grammar doesn't matter if I'm leaving because I'm leaving to venture on my own so I'll run away from home or stay there all alone so tell me why I should stay you're too afraid to say that you agree that there's no point to poignancy so why be of the world if you can flee and if you do I would follow too so run away from home or stay there all alone you ask me why I hate this place and I don't have a single thing to say except seasons change and I get bored is it okay if we just leave today because today I don't want to stay so run away from home or stay there all alone woah I don't want to go woah please just take me home save my soul praise The Lord amen hide in my room piss into a cup lay wide awake until the sun comes up then do it again so run away from home
4.
5:09 05:09
Take me by the hand lead me towards the end i'll follow you, ill be there with you you can fall asleep, feel safe with me i'll save myself I'll take myself where i've never gone before i don't need your help, i don't wanna hear anything from you sleep tight my sweet angel, i'll kiss you goodnight don't you open your eyes, I'll be gone when you wake up
5.
Title Track 03:13
im sorry im not my usual self today but i am tired of always feeling this way and im sorry im not someone whos not afraid to let you in so come on get up get out the door and show me just what we came here so come on get up get out the door and times up too late you lost your chance next time just laugh it off and dance and times up too late you lost your chance im sorry im not my usual self these days but i see that youre sad and know that i cant stay so im sorry im not someone whos not estranged with something constructive to say and im sorry that you think i tried to hurt you and im sorry that you feel like ill desert you but most of all i feel sorry for you its one thing for you to ask too much and feel that you never got enough but im one to talk yeah ive got my problems too or maybe im just feeling sorry for you
6.
Interlude 00:44
7.
Untitled 02:14
I know too much what i don't wanna know I stoop low, low enough for you and you dont respond anymore (like you used to) I left my feelings at the door (like you told me to) but I do what you ask Cause you're what I want, not what I need don't think those tears, change anything Late nights out without a call, do i still mean anything at all but i do what you ask dont lie to my face i'm not as stupid at you think, i'll let the regret fill you up and i've had it with the way you treat me, i'm never gonna be enough
8.
You don't need them to see this through So will you tell me what you want for the last time pulling in and weaving through Yeah you'll give me that excuse for the last time the starless sky never depended on you you're acting strange and your face isn't yours yeah but nothing has changed and your life's still a bore I don't know whats wrong could you please tell me (I'm not my usual self) This was always me I don't care what you thought I would be this was always me.
9.
Foliage 03:50
Last night I swallowed some dirt and a seed, and drank some water and started to bleed, internally stems, roots, and leaves growing inside of me. and so I'm doubled over on my knees crying out in painful agony let's hope the doctor knows how to treat this disease and if I don't survive the day, than you can carve the first letters of our names on the branches that impale me from the inside out and cut them down and take them home and water them with your tears. Let's hear it for the one more times, I'm alright, but there is something on my mind and it's you. you are all I thought about that night, the night, I swallowed the seed but it was only just a dream, and I woke up in a sweat, petrified as ancient trees I picked up an ember from the rocks it burned a hole straight through my pocket but I kept it cause it reminds me of the moments we've had small and overlooked by most but if you stop and look real close you see a glowing fire in the cracks dancing just beneath the black and if it starts to rain on the way home than I will run as fast as my body will go. but the flame it will go out but that is no excuse to stop running I'll convince myself there's still something worth saving Let's hear it for the one more times, I'm alright, but there is something on my mind and it's you. you are all I thought about that night, the night, I picked up the ember but it was all I could remember cause my mind blocks things out sometimes, can't you see, it's just not me and in the end, you were more than just a friend, and maybe I was lying, when I said that I'm alright, and I forgive you, but I will sing myself to sleep, cause I don't care if I have nightmares as long you're there
10.
Doc Holiday 04:05
this is the calm before the storm to befall the sadists who prosper save the selfless who fall and maybe one day I will give you a call we can talk about bad days you slept through them all you slept through them all and you're my elixir babe I'm your machine in a perfect world our pasts were just bad dreams and we'd go back soda pops good for you now and I think I'm allowed to finally think out loud and I don't let you down and I don't let you down I lost my way about a sense of direction a compass too broken to properly function his old sweatshirt tucked in the back of your car change out of your Sunday dress and into your scars change into your scars if I saw you dressed the same would I be surprised if things were alright your clothes were just your disguise and we'd go back soda pops good for you now and I think I'm allowed to finally think out loud and I don't let you down and I don't let you down don't let you down don't let you down

credits

released June 11, 2016

Written and preformed by Brady Burgi, Liam Russell, and A.J. Silvas
Recorded and mixed by Matthew Mele at Apollo Studios

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Cyan&Magenta Arizona

Independent band from Gilbert, Arizona. Brady Burgi, A.J. Silvas, Liam Russell, Sterling Johnson.

contact / help

Contact Cyan&Magenta

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Cyan&Magenta, you may also like: